Goodbye Yandere Simulator

Previous Ari Yandere Sim Articles
I played Yandere Simulator’s Demo for 10 minutes and it made me Sick
Yandere Simulator 1980s is more DLC for an Unfinished Game
Yandere Simulator: Same Shit, Different Year

Dear Reader and Alex,

Let me tell you what I’ve done between the time YanSim first went viral and now:  

  • 2018: Graduated high school.
  • 2019: Fell in love and entered my first serious relationship.
  • Obtained my first real adult job.
  • Quit that job and got dumped in early 2020.
  • Attended trade school to increase my financial prospects.
  • Fell in love again.
  • Survived a four month covid summer until I was able to finish school.
  • Obtained my phlebotomy certificate and was hired in my field.
  • Got a promotion.
  • Decided to earn an associates.
  • Got accepted into my first choice college.
  • Moved from Detroit to Virginia to obtain my degree in mid 2021.
  • Worked as a Doordash Driver to get by because I wasn’t getting hired within my field. I’m aware that this is nonsense seeing how I had a year of experience managing a healthcare clinic.
  • Followed my dreams and became a cam girl.
  • Quickly discovered my first apartment had no heat and survived the winter without it.
  • Continued to follow my dreams by buying a pole and teaching myself pole dancing.
  • Failed my physical therapy assistant program 4 months in. I was devastated at first, but thank God I failed!
  • Switch from physical therapy to massage therapy.
  • Discovered I had no AC at the beginning of the warm season.
  • Kept myself busy by writing erotica.
  • Is anyone surprised that my horrible first apartment also had cockroaches and mold?
  • Decided to become a stripper in order to keep myself sane, challenging myself, and increasing my earning potential.
  • Was rejected from becoming a stripper in Richmond, Virginia because I’m a black woman.
  • Said: ‘fuck that noise’, and got a job at Waffle House so I could afford a hotel room in Baltimore.
  • Took a weekend off from said job to and shake my ass for cash. I found myself on that stage.
  • Quit Waffle House after two months to travel dance every weekend.
  • Took my first apartment management company to court and only got $700 back for my 12 months of suffering.
  • Moved into my second studio apartment that was vastly superior from the first.
  • Spent four months travel dancing between three states, damn near every weekend, until I burned out.
  • January 2023: Finished my traumatic college experience and time in the American south, promptly packed my shit, and moved back home.
  • Upgraded from a studio to a one-bedroom apartment.
  • Continued to work as a stripper, surprisingly became a hooker while there, and fell in love with the work.
  • Reconnected with old friends.
  • Chilled out for a couple of months, working and saving money, until I decided it was time to get my massage therapy license.
  • Obtained the license in May.
  • Decided that my hands were going to take me further than dancing and retired to work as a boring ass massage therapist while keeping my escorting clientele.
  • Got bored of being said boring ass massage therapist at an unprofitable job.
  • Made the difficult decision to put down my dog after 13 years together.
    Rest in Peace Jewel: 11/1/2010-10/23/2023
  • Quit my first massage job for a more profitable location and reinvented myself as a escort.
  • Started to obtain more clientele as a titty massage therapist.
  • Fell in love, again. This time with the realization that I was no longer a lesbian and continued to identify as queer. Everyone, he drives me crazy and is a constant pain in my ass. I love him to death and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
  • Upgraded from renting an one bedroom apartment to a three bedroom house in early 2024.
  • Expanded my financial prospects to buy this house.
  • Started writing a fucking novel!

I write this piece now as a break from obsessing over my novel. As a writer,  I simply cannot take a break without writing, I merely turn my focus to a smaller task. Recently, I’ve once again been reminded of fucking Yandere Simulator. As if Alex popping into mind while showering a few days ago wasn’t enough. The day that I drafted this piece, I was scrolling through YouTube and was jump scared by the specter of Alex’s face. The failed game dev is now so infamous that he warrants 2-hour documentaries, with hundreds of thousands of views, archiving his failure. That was when I knew my time had come once more. We’ve all had enough of this monster. So, allow me to throw my hat in the ring and voice my final thoughts. 

Alex, this is goodbye. Goodbye from one of many of your former fans that you have duped. 

Goodbye to the western-made, anime inspired title that I was sure would captivate hearts worldwide. 

Goodbye to dreams of strategically eliminating each rival through multiple replays.

Goodbye to ambitions of this game being another indie darling.

Goodbye to my teenage hipster dreams of being able to say: “I played YanSim before it was cool”. Don’t worry 16-year-old me, you’re now old enough to tell 7-year-olds that your generation pioneered Minecraft. It’s really rad and I know you’re proud.

Goodbye to the drama surrounding the game that began at the end of high school. 

Goodbye to the childish naivety, who didn’t want to hear anything from any hater about this incomplete indie game that I was so hyped for.

Goodbye to being proven wrong.

Goodbye to all the nonsensical coding embedded in the game. Like the Goddamn toothbrush that will go down in gaming history as one of the most imbecilic decisions a man can make.

Goodbye to the Christmas parodies and updates that I religiously followed.

Goodbye to hearing that little green haired anime girl scream: Yandere Dev, Yandere Dev!

Goodbye to all the previous articles I have written about this game. From the first terrible one to the last palatable one.

Goodbye Alex. Goodbye to you and all of the shit that you found yourself getting into. 

Goodbye to your disgusting ass and all of the grooming allegations that, knowing this world, we will never see Justice over. 

Goodbye to seeing how quickly one can be banned from your discord server.  

Goodbye to the voice actors who have lost their jobs due to how horrendous of a human being you are.

Goodbye to all of the former patrons who gave you thousands of dollars out of their Goodwill, for a product you never delivered. 

In the words of an immortal man: You lose, good day sir!

Alex, let me reiterate because I know that you’re not very bright, I am done with you. Everyone is done with you! The internet is done with you! The gaming industry itself is done with you!

Aside from your thievery and inhuman behavior towards children, you embody something else that I hate and fear the most. You, that tragically continues to live and breathe, are the embodiment of lack of progress.

Dear reader, allow me a moment of vulnerability.

When I was a teenager, my biggest fear wasn’t the world ending or dying in a school shooting, my biggest fear was being stuck in life. I would lay awake at night, paralyzed by a future in which I was a ghost on this mortal plane. Drifting among seas of individuals who progressed in their lives. While I was forever stuck in one place. Ambitionless or unfortunate enough to never be able to move forward. I imagined myself working for the rest of my life, the same job with the same pay, laying back into the same bed at the end of the day, doing it all again for years to come. Everyday blended, every night paralyzed, no one or nothing to help me as I lay awake in my bedroom in my mother’s home. Motivated by that fear and snaring me within its jaws, I ran. And I continue to run. Always haunted by the black specter of my worst nightmare manifesting itself. Irrational in my fear of one day waking up in my teenage bed, unable to stand on my own two feet, confined by my lack of progress. 

I began this article the way I did not to pat myself on the back. I wanted to display that major and minor achievements can be made in a short amount of time. I did all of that in less than a decade. Every year brought something new, both joyous and devastating, and I continue to move forward because such is life. I have yet to earn the right to be comfortable, which is why I embarked on my current ambition of writing my novel. 

Because, dear reader, I am a woman who dreams. 

I dream of financial stability and working as a full time author.

I dream of my parents holding my book and telling me how proud they are

I dream of being interviewed on NPR and giving talks and readings at my local libraries.

I dream of visiting independent bookstores and seeing my novel on shelves. 

I dream of going home after that excursion and contacting my agent to let them know that progress on my second book is going well. 

Take that script and apply it to any creative. The painter who dreams of the gallery show. The game designer who dreams of working at their favorite studio or creating their own projects. The Potter who dreams of opening their own studio. The sneakerhead who dreams of seeing their designs come to life.

Frederick Backman wrote in his novel Beartown that: it is the job of children to dream. Allow me to expand upon this and ask you, dear reader, is it not also quintessential in adulthood to perform the childlike duty of dreaming? For how can one enter adulthood without dreams? How can one live life without goals? How can one be so young and decide to retire into a life of unearned comfort. How is one comfortable keeping company with their broken dreams? 

Alex, maybe you are as devoid of dreams as you are devoid of humanity. If that’s true, I cannot pity you. Because I view you as no better than another group of people I despise: the average American hillbilly. Daily sitting on their ass looking for an excuse to get intoxicated. Grasping at straws to blame other people like Democrats or queers for America’s issues. Drowning your sorrows in monorhythmic conformist country music, where all people like you do is whine and complain about your sorry pathetic life, without doing anything to fix it.

Alex, you truly are an ambitionless hack who will be immortalized within the halls of video game hell. Your name will be asked synonymous with failure and vitriol. Future top 10s on gaming fuck ups will have you nestled between the cancellation of Fez 2 and the recent helldivers debacle. Young game devs shiver before saying: I don’t want my game to end up like Yandere Sim.  

Alex, I want you to know that every time I see your face I get violently angry. You trigger my anger issues in a way that nobody in gaming ever has. I want you to know that if I ever have the unfortunate coincidence of crossing you in the streets, I will promptly rearrange your face. I will hold you up by your shirt, look upon your broken and bloody appearance, and call you what the hell you are. A thief. A groomer. A monster. A failure. A worm that is no less than a miserable pile of secrets, ready to be burned to ash and reduced to dust in the aether. Then, I’ll drop you to the ground. I’ll leave you there, an ignorant, whiny, sniveling little crotch goblin. An absolute freak of an incel gremlin with your newly reconstructed golem ass looking face. I will tell you ‘you’re welcome’ before I go, because now your image matches your soul. 

But even this is not enough for me.

I want you to burn, Alex. I want to see you consumed within an inferno fueled by your status, money, goodwill, and everything else that you have destroyed. I want you to fucking suffer, Alex. Because it’s the very least that you deserve, and I don’t believe that you are doing it enough. Anyone can be called a pedophile on the internet and hideaway. But clearly you’re just a stupid as Drake’s ass because neither of you can shut the hell up. But hiding is still too good for you, Alex. . And I know that the day you see true justice will never come. Just as much as I know that I will never catch you in Motown. Because my city knows cowardly ass little white boys like you wouldn’t dare step foot in Detroit. So stay the fuck off my block. 

I’m moving on Alex. All of us are. Unlike you. I’m making progress. In other words, I got better shit to do.

Who knows, maybe in another universe you could have been a decent person. An average game developer who made a serviceable product. You could have actually earned and kept all the respect and good will and everything else you lost. But, you know what, I’m glad to see that you’re the opposite, Alex. Because you actually did earn something. I hope you enjoy being a failure. 

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a fucking book to write.

Final Jewel Photo: