The REAL Game Awards: So Real, It Hurts

It’s the beginning of December, the industry flocks to the Peacock Theatre, millions of people are watching online, and Geoff Keigley leads us through another year of world premieres, shoehorned celebrities, and if time persists, a few awards sprinkled in. The Game Awards have been around for over a decade now and while they have certainly shaken off the stench that was the Spike VGA’s back in the 2000s, even today, it’s still seen as nothing more than “The Game Commercials” but lately it has just gotten even worse. 

Stuttering Craig from Screwattack fame declared on his brand new SideScrollers channel several months ago his vision to “Take Games Back” I’d ask, “Take it back from who?” but that would probably lead to a non-sensical rant involving journalism ethics, DEI, “going woke” and the most powerful/evil company on the planet…..Sweet Baby Inc. *sounds of thunder roar in the background*. This all lead to his announcement of the REAL Video Game Awards.  

Now, full disclosure: during the original days of Unboxed, I was a major fan-contributor on the Screwattack website, with my show being featured quite frequently on their site. I was a fan of Craig and the other members of Screwattack for years. I feel like people should expect me to ask the question, “What happened to Craig?” as he has seemingly fallen into the right-wing grifter scene on YouTube, contributing with such lively personalities as Razorfist and SmashJT. But, looking back, you can see small hints throughout the years, he clearly had a dislike of Geoff Keighley to the point where he would do yearly unflattering parodies of him at E3.

Now, my opinion of Geoff is when it comes to gaming events he’s someone safe (or in Craig’s own words “average”), sure we can’t ignore the times he stared dead eyes into the camera surrounded by Mountain Dew and Doritos but I can’t suggest that he doesn’t love gaming considering he dropped a million dollars of his own money to fund The Game Awards initially.

Criticism of The Game Awards is aplenty, the biggest one is the focus on world premiere trailers over actually showing appreciation for the industry making the Game Awards look like a giant marketing event over an Award show.

But here’s the thing…..ALL Awards are Marketing, we would like to think that everything from the Oscars, to the Grammys to even the bloody Nobel are chosen by solely objective means but they are actually decided by heavy financial, and sometimes political influence. Movie studios spend millions on “For Your Consideration” Campaigns to get nominated for the Oscars and Golden Globes. Simply put, getting nominated is just good for business, the best definition I’ve ever heard of awards was on the Australian series “:30 Seconds” a satirical look at the advertising industry. They called awards “An expensive wank…. they’re completely arbitrary and they are usually shaped like a golden suppository, but it’s the only way anyone assesses our creative worth”

All Awards are Marketing, The Game Awards just make it more obvious….

So back to Craig and his last gasp at relevancy, he announced The REAL Game Awards as a response to the “disregard” the industry has for its customers and the downfall of gaming journalism, particularly with Kotaku. (Quick question, does anyone actually give two shits about Kotaku, with all the layoffs and ownership changes over the years it has pretty much turned into a Content Mill at this point) Where YOU get to decide and not some “Activist blogger out of San Francisco” and opened up voting membership for 30$ a piece.

From what I can tell around 1000 people pledged their loyalty to this gambit totalling around $30,000, most of which Craig wants to use to make a physical award next year with the first year of the REALIES reduced to a video slideshow that any competent editor could punch out in an afternoon. Watching the actual show, it’s clear Craig’s dislike for Geoff has only gotten worse, and Kojima isn’t fairing any better, the next 35 minutes had Craig in an empty arcade before cutting to a literal who’s who of presenters, and by that I mean who the fuck were any of these people?

Is that what real gamers are, Edgelords like Razorfist or former Amico fanboys like SmashJT? Is this really the community that I am a part of these days? Oh well, I guess they had the Nerd because I’m sure Craig said he owes him one. The Real Game Awards comes off as a cynical amateur production with categories that even Spike in 2003 would find crass, “Best Jiggle Physics”? “Best Husbando/Waifu”? and worst of all “Worst Games Journalist” could be argued as harassment or even borderline slander.

But it’s clear at the end why this entire thing was created, to give Black Myth Wukong the Game of the Year award it was “robbed” of. Now, given my current situation, I haven’t played any of this year’s nominations, Wukong could very well be miles better than Astro Bot but are we seriously going all “I’LL MAKE MY OWN AWARD SHOW! WITH BLACKJACK AND JIGGLE PHYSICS!” over a snub?! Shawshank Redemption, Saving Private Ryan, Vertigo, FUCKING Citizen Kane! All amazing, legendary, iconic movies and all LOST Best Picture. Over the years as a game reviewer, I’ve noticed how desperate gamers are in seeking validation that a title they personally love is given the same love universally “How dare someone give the game I gave a 10 out of a 10 only a 7 out of 10, DON’T YOU KNOW WHAT THAT WILL DO TO THE METASCORE” No, and I don’t care and in the long run, no one truly does.

The Real Game Awards, besides being a really reactionary name that Geoff could potentially sue over was incredibly bare bones, with non-introductions for the nominees, no physical awards and no acceptance speeches whatsoever because I doubt any of the winners could be even buggered to give on. Like, does Craig actually think that Feng Ji, even after that self-absorbed drivel he wrote on Weibo would give two shits about the fact he won this? Does he think they will put the accolade on the game’s cover? If he thinks that, then he must be dreaming.

Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of problems in the Game Industry but instead of focusing on worker’s rights or the preservation of this medium, we are instead made to focus on a tiny studio of 16 people who have been made to look like Gaming terrorists and blamed for failings like Suicide Squad (ignoring they also worked on Spiderman 2 and Alan Wake 2) The last decade and some change of gaming has been married with anger, racism, sexism, homophobia and everything in between with more gatekeeping than a sheep farm in New Zealand.

The last decade has also seen a certain industry thrive, the industry of keeping people perpetually angry, everywhere I look, from Gaming to Marvel to AEW, there seems to be absolutely no nuance with anything, everything is either the greatest thing ever made or the worst atrocities ever made, channels made up of countless videos over a certain company or a certain figure in the industry bordering on obsession. Let me ask you all a question, Do you want gaming to be seen as an equal medium to movies, TV, music, books, etc….or do you want it to be kept being seen as a plaything? If gaming is too loose its shackles as a children’s toy, then it has to accept that it may go in directions not everyone will be happy with, with more diverse representation and far louder voices critical about aspects of the industry as a whole.

If Craig actually gave a damn about Taking Back Gaming and not just clearly acting bitter that he was snubbed an invite to be part of the ACTUAL Game Awards judges, he may have used his campaign to start what this industry ACTUALLY needs, a Union. The amount of people who have been laid off and screwed over for the sake of profit growth is the real drain of this industry and it is only going to get worse with the scourge that is AI. But go ahead Craig, keep falling down the Right Wing grift hole, lemme know when you launch your own MemeCoin……